Gwyneth's Blog

Cleaning Out

Gwyneth — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 04:09:06 +0000

Amidst getting ready for a major event, what do I do: clean out my house. It started in the bathroom and spread to a cabinet in the kitchen where I keep candles and candle holders and vases and such. Folded in there was a section from a concert program. I’m not really sure how it got there but I remember being taken aback by a poem in the program that a song was inspired by.

It just reminded me of how we can get worked up by hurts in our life. We can build walls that ultimately isolate and hurt ourselves. God calls us to move beyond those things because his plans are greater and don’t involve walls. It struck me as beautiful and in some ways how God would see many of us: lovely but covered in thorns and perhaps too involved in protecting ourselves to see that God has lifted us up and given us beauty and victory.

“Les Chansons de Roses” Rilke

Against whom, rose

have you assumed

these thorns?

Is it your too fragile joy

that forced you

to become this

armed thing?

But from whom does it protect you,

this exaggerated defense?

How many enemies have I

lifted from you

who did not fear it at all?

On the contrary, from summer to autumn,

you wound the affection

that is given to you.

What feeds you?

Gwyneth — Fri, 22 May 2009 02:27:06 +0000

This was the question that Marc asked us today in our team meeting. It is a good honest question that I think we all need to ask ourselves – especially in a “service” industry and often as a woman. Marc talked about being adrenaline driven – thinking the rush of stress is feeding us but at the end of the day often just drains us. We can get lost in our own world and find that we are completely dissatisfied at what we are looking at. We can be completely out of alignment and hurt and bruise those around us. At the end of the day it is about being balanced – recognizing that you only have so many hours in the day and your priorities need to line up with what God would say about your life. I try to make it God, Gwyneth (in a healthy way), Matt, Family (Insert Future kiddos here), Ministry, and everything else. It takes twists and turns but is should balance out that way.

Something to chew on I suppose. Today I have thought a lot about what is a false full feeling (like the diet coke of life- tasty but not nourishing), detracting (sugar cereal and jelly beans), and truly satisfying (steak or salmon dinner or sushi town). So in real life terms, not food albeit a handy metaphor, what are those things? As I develop ideas on that – I wonder what that will be like.

Feeding: Reading (sometimes smart books – most of the time to get to smart books I read chick-lit), writing (need to get back to that more often), painting, travel, meeting with a few good friends and great conversation, “Gwyneth Time,” music, I love playing scales on my clarinet – weird I know

Today’s Playlist is brought to you by:

City of Black and White – Mat Kearney (Entire Album- most definitely satisfying)

SOAP 5/14

Gwyneth — Fri, 15 May 2009 03:27:13 +0000

Today’s SOAP comes directly to you from Frisco, Texas. A few of us are here for the Fellowship One Dynamic Church conference. We are learning a LOT! I have contact management/assimilation/groups and all sorts of stuff on the brain. I promise I will post sooner this time. So to clear that out here is a little SOAP and what I’m listening to

Trusting God: Release the Reigns

Scripture: 1 Chronicles 21:1

Satan rose up against Israel and cited David to take a census of Israel…

Observation:

David wanted to take a census to know what kind of force he had backing him up. He placed his hope in things of this world and further disobeyed God. Had he forgotten that God was his strength, protector, provider, etc? It almost seems unimaginable as you read what he is doing. However, it is so natural for a leader to grab the reigns when things feel out of control or they are losing the “battle.” Reason and counsel go out the window in favor for our default. Even after all David had seen in his life he still decided to place his trust in worldly and perishable values and strength.

Application:

I know my default isn’t always pleasant: stubborn, easily frustrated, blunt! However, Jesus in me is STRONGER than my default. At this stage of my life I am learning to trust God more and not lean on my own independent streak. He has provided for me in amazing ways. I still must submit myself to God daily. His will for my life is much better than me trying to grasp onto some feeble resemblance of what life is supposed to look like on my own.

Prayer:

Lord,

I submit my life, ministry, work, joys, hobbies, everything to you. I cannot do this without you! Help me be a leader that follows after what you desire. I pray I would trust you in all situations. I am so thankful my life is already written down and you already know! My worries and fears are pointless and I submit them to you. You are good in all things. Amen

Listening To:

Every Day – Carly Comando

When I Speak Your Name – Gateway Worship

The Story – Brandi Carlisle

Just Wanna Say – Israel Houghton

Easter

Gwyneth — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 04:43:12 +0000

I realized that I have been pushing hard for the a few months. From conferences to relational roller coasters and fierce reality to the culmination many projects coming to fruition and release- it has been quite a season.

Easter has passed but it begins a new season. We pause, reflect a few moments on the amazing gift given to us. We didn’t earn it, we didn’t deserve it, and honestly deep down in our pride, we wouldn’t have selected it before hand. Jesus died for us- to live. To live in freedom, grace, worship, beauty, power, authenticity, authority, and so much more.

Hopefully that gives us strength to continue with the challenging, the difficult, and seemingly unlovable in our lives.

In other news – I’m looking forward to a few things: Northwest Wind Symphony concert this weekend (Clarinet 1- yikes again) and therefore purpose to practicing. Two days off again next week awaiting a painting project (canvas, not walls) and maybe some amazing walks with the dog.

Music:

Charlie Hall, Philip Larue, Daniel Bashta, Mat Kearney

Movies:

Tyler Perry’s The Family that Preys, Secret Life of Bees

Books:

Under the Banner of Heaven

Revive Restore Reunite

Gwyneth — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 04:51:19 +0000

Revive, Restore, Reunite. Let’s see if I got that right! I’ll check tomorrow when I am at my desk. Every fall we plan for the following year with goals and areas of improvement. My word (the overall theme) is Revive Restore Reunite.

This was brought to the foreground to me yesterday with a quarterly review. It was good assessment. There are areas that I feel really good, medium good, and then of course not so good. Then I started thinking about the really good and wondering how to make them extra good (with sprinkles maybe?) and then the medium good and the check minus areas. Which is good. I guess I don’t want to use any other words for that.

So updated goals:

Revive: At about 85% Take better care of yourself! Spiritual disciplines, work out, eat well, date night, see friends, paint toenails. Seriously important things.

Restore: One down One to go. Relationships relationships relationships.

Release: Great! You built teams Gwyneth, now move your teams through the process (seeker, believer, disciple, teacher). Replace yourself (not that I want to leave- but I do love vacations!)

Who I Am

Gwyneth — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 19:44:02 +0000

Last night I was watching Across the Universe with my husband. Interesting movie, not sure I would recommend it due to some questionable content. If you haven’t seen it- the movie is kind of a musical with remakes of Beatles songs and it takes places during the Vietnam war. There were two scenes that were incredible to me. One with sheer emotion and the other with great introspection.

Emotion: The scene shows the trying times of civil rights and real unrest of our nation. Honestly, with the media and what we see day to day – it isn’t too shocking (rioting, looting, people getting shot). Within the same song (Let it Be) they juxtapose a funeral- which seems normal but you see something so horrific that I just lost my emotions! I try not to be a crier – it ripped it right out of me.

Introspection: In this scene you see a family at Thanksgiving. They are arguing about what the eldest son would be doing with his life. There is a lot emotion behind that: expectation, paying for ivy league tuition, the draft. The argument shifts to defining your life by what you do -vs- who you are. The older generation argued that you are defined by what you do (a doctor, a lawyer) and the younger felt they should be concerned with who they are (character, passions, ideals, goal). My ears perked at this because not only am I kind of passionate about this idea (thank you PLU and the Wild Hope project) and this is one of our staff core values at the church.

Ministry is who we are, not what we do. If you try to frame your life on what you do, you will never be enough. You will NEVER do enough. It is impossible. You will place your acceptance in the wrong places. If we frame it on who we are it changes the prospective. Freeing. I am a pastor. I am not just that in the brick walls of a church building. I am that wherever I go- the park, the mall, Forza. I live and put my hands to work not for the glory of my senior pastor or my team leader, but to God. Yes I am submitted to authority but at the end of the day- I do it for Jesus. It is who I am.

First Post

Gwyneth — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:33:19 +0000

I suppose this is the official welcome to the world of blogging. This has been a slightly uneventful day as of yet but there is hope!